I really believe this is the best out there. I recently borrowed a Maclaren side-by-side buggy, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF!?! Really hard work and makes it almost impossible to go out. My tandem buggy allows me to get around shops and through doors and while heavier than some is fab!
It is a travel system which made life much easier by allowing me to lift the seats out of the car and clip into the buggy frame without waking two babies. By the time the twins were one we had moved on to proper seats, these come with hoods but I don’t bother unless it is raining. E and M used to take it in turns in the front seat, now they have favourite positions, E likes to have the front seat so he can see everything while M likes to sit in the back so she can peak over the top of the front seat at her brother and pull his hair!
This three-wheeler off road buggy suits our lifestyle perfectly, we lined the tires with mountain bike lining tape and have only had one puncture in 20 months. Great warranty too, our frame snapped recently, sent it back and they repaired and returned it. Thanks Jane’ we think your buggy is great!
Once you are managing to get your babies to bed at night for 7pm (this took us a long while) and you have satisfied your need to get those house jobs done give yourself a little time for something you enjoy doing, it will help clear your head and will make you better equipped to deal with the next drama.
If you can get some from family, friends or hired then do. While we had some family around in the early days to give us a hand now and again with household things and meals I (being the independent sort) felt I needed to prove to myself that I could manage when it was just me, E and M. Having others around prevented me from learning how to do it alone, I wanted to get properly stuck into establishing our own little routine and to get out and about and meet others so as soon as my husband returned to work after two weeks paternity leave and two weeks stashed up annual leave I went it alone as much as possible. When they were young it was easier to get out as they slept and drank out and about. As they got older, mobile and messier I found it more complicated to get out and about and get all the day to day chores done so gradually became more isolated, at this point we made cut backs where possible and sought out a cleaner that would help me break the back of the housework for an hour once a week. I thoroughly recommend getting a cleaner to help out even if just a little so you can keep on top of things and continue to get out, it will do all three of you some good.
Getting help means we have more time for exploring!
… to say no or not now. Everyone wants to see your new babies, they just want to pop in, five or ten minutes, they won’t stay long. All those quick phone calls and visits add up to a lot of time and disturbed sleep and routine. Before the twins were born my main concern was not the birth but how I was going to cope when I brought home TWO babies, how I would cope after a MAJOR OPERATION to look after them, if my husband would manage to stay calm when my babies were crying and I couldn’t get out of bed quickly. I didn’t know then I would have had a near death experience to add into the equation (thank goodness!). On top of all that I was worried that I would have to deal with visitors desperate to see my little ones while we were still trying to adjust, while I was learning to feed them, when we were mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I did say not now to some, I know it was difficult for them to wait, but it was the right thing for me and my little family.
Before the twins were born we attended NCT antenatal classes and a TAMBA one day antenatal course. While NCT was useful for meeting other parents much of what it covered was not relevant or caused anxiety. Many of the birth options open to parents of singletons are not open to a multiple mother and after a discussion with your very impersonal unapproachable consultant who tells you that “YOU WILL be induced at 37 weeks” you feel completely at the mercy of your hospitals highly medicalised procedures. Not only is it highly controlled but your birth looks to be a spectacle for not just you, your partner and a midwife but a whole host of hospital staff and medical trainees. TAMBA prepared us for this, they advised us on what we could influence and told us what we could expect for a “natural” or c-section birth of multiples. They also helped us prepare for what came after we left the hospital, because, let’s face it, that bit lasts much longer!
Before my babies were born I read a lot about routine and not allowing your baby to get into bad habits like falling asleep on you or being rocked to sleep as when you have multiples and your partner returns to work it is just not possible to do these things without leaving a baby screaming somewhere. My emphasis became on following our routine and not making a rod for my own back, we were crazy busy trying to manage two new babies and had many many visitors. One day I found myself asking a visitor for a baby back because I missed them, realising everyone else got to cuddle my babies except me! Make time for cuddles, don’t let those early days pass you by and realise you missed it!
Bottle feeding two at a time, playing, soothing, sleeping, night sleeping for babies with ear infections…. These are the very best invention for multiples; we couldn’t have done without them.
Milk time in our house when I was alone (which was most of the time) was a bit of an operation, I sat on the floor with my back to the sofa, bouncy chairs were positioned either side of me, twins facing me and me facing the tv, bottles with caps off ready, bibs on, muslins in position, drinks and snacks positioned under the chairs, take a bottle in each hand and… GO! When I needed a snack or a drink, muslin was wedged under a bottle/s for a quick transition and then back into position for an hour or so. Then a couple of hours later we did it all again. Bouncy chair inventor, I salute you!
Learn some breathing/relaxation techniques, I wish I had had some for the hours of unison crying in the early days when you just don’t have a clue why they are crying! Now that we have toddler twins these might be useful again…
Getting outside and visiting my ladies usually has the desired effect!